Hello everyone!
I'm back, after more than a year long hiatus that we called "med school".
I haven't been writing here for ages, because... come on, everyone who knows me and have twitter knows I used to be almost always on twitter, sadly, not anymore. You can find me though in real life watching random videos, doing personality quiz, and oh yeah, studying medicine.
Anyway, this isn't what I actually wanted to write, but I think I need a lil bit of intro before the next upcoming blog, which is about surviving life on a student budget, I mean really on a budget, you know what I mean..
Back on why I haven't been visible online... is because I have no phone, yay me. Seriously I have no cell phone right now, mostly due to my clumsiness and karma. Whatever, so that's mostly why, but not the only reason... I was kinda bored with the net, you know... all the old news and all that, seeing old friends doing this and doing that... Nah, I'd rather watch weird how to videos in youtube, or... reading thriller romance novel, don't blame e on that.
Well then, I'll do back on writing the next blog, which I told you about up there.
See ya.
Sunday 6 September 2015
Tuesday 23 September 2014
New Semester!
Hello internet,
I'm here finally, officially greeting you guys from a new semester, okay the semester actually have been going on for a week for me, but nevertheless, hello freshmen! Had enough taste of college yet?
This is going to be short, because I'm here sitting in the second floor library lobby like usual in my favorite couch.
Does anything change? Nope, I still feel the same, the lectures are still boring, the subjects though, are significantly harder, and hey, we have new building! The faculty also finally had upgraded its standard, and beside the new building, we are now using the fingerprint for absent (?) yeah whatever, cool but a little bit ineffective if I might say...
And then... new house! I moved to somewhere half an hour farther than my old house, but it's still the same inconsiderate distance from the uni...And does my feeling regarding the organization change? Nope, not a single bit. I still hate them, I still hate the rules, the programs, everything except the fact that they give me shelter, well... i'm supposed to be grateful though.... so here i am being grateful (nah just kidding)
And so yeah, a small recap for the new semester, and I will write again later!
Bye
I'm here finally, officially greeting you guys from a new semester, okay the semester actually have been going on for a week for me, but nevertheless, hello freshmen! Had enough taste of college yet?
This is going to be short, because I'm here sitting in the second floor library lobby like usual in my favorite couch.
Does anything change? Nope, I still feel the same, the lectures are still boring, the subjects though, are significantly harder, and hey, we have new building! The faculty also finally had upgraded its standard, and beside the new building, we are now using the fingerprint for absent (?) yeah whatever, cool but a little bit ineffective if I might say...
And then... new house! I moved to somewhere half an hour farther than my old house, but it's still the same inconsiderate distance from the uni...And does my feeling regarding the organization change? Nope, not a single bit. I still hate them, I still hate the rules, the programs, everything except the fact that they give me shelter, well... i'm supposed to be grateful though.... so here i am being grateful (nah just kidding)
And so yeah, a small recap for the new semester, and I will write again later!
Bye
Sunday 24 August 2014
the summer break
hello again internet!
I'm sorry for my hiatus, but considering that it's summer break and i'm in my homeland now, well, i guess you might understand why i haven't write as much as a word here for a very long time...
first of all, yeah! I'm in Indonesia right now and I've been so busy with family, friends, and... also I spent the majority of my summer break holed up in MY room reading things and okay, sleeping. But for my defense I won't have much time to sleep for the next year to come.
How am I dong here? Well... okay. I love my family and I've missed them so, I love being here again, but since my little brother is back in the dorm and my older brother will soon go back to his town for uni, I'll be here alone with the Mom only (see how I left out the Dad? He's currently seldom to be found at home because of his new 'babies', read: a couple of newly bought planes by an airline company), so going back to the point, it is a little bit lonely, but I won't take things for granted, for the next years to come I will live with another five girls, which means, lack of privacy at best and no privacy at all at worst. So I appreciate any peace I have now.
Then, about seeing my friends here... I guess studying abroad and making new friends, and also almost have no chance at all to meet the girls here, made me realize how I actually miss having them as my close friends, I'm talking about my junior high besties (you know who you are) and also my high school friends (you also know who you are). You guys have been walking along side me through my journey of being the person I am now, no longer freshly graduated from high school (if one might say), and I'm grateful that I have you guys for who will I go to if I visit Indonesia again? I'm aware that I sounded a little bit cheesy right now but then again, I'm a drama queen at heart so... you understand me.
And I'm gonna miss you girls until the next time we meet.
Finally about Indonesia, not much has changed to this 'beloved' country. I found my self still at the same position I was before, I still hate this country. Remember how the lines between hating and loving something is blurry at best ? I hate this country. And I am so glad that I made the right decision to study abroad. Actually I loathe thee guts of the governments, I very much dislike politics and the slickness of the people here, and how pathetic they could be. They just don't change, with their feudal brain and corrupted heart, well actually I doubted that they have any brain and hearts at all. You know they might even be just the vessels of the people above, the puppeteers, or the conspirators, or anything. Okay talking about those theories in this light post hiatus post is not good at all, and I'm aware that I should stop, so there. I stop.
Okay then, I guess I will have to go now and I might write something substantial later, so see you then!
I'll go back to my break, or hibernation, or anything.
bye
I'm sorry for my hiatus, but considering that it's summer break and i'm in my homeland now, well, i guess you might understand why i haven't write as much as a word here for a very long time...
first of all, yeah! I'm in Indonesia right now and I've been so busy with family, friends, and... also I spent the majority of my summer break holed up in MY room reading things and okay, sleeping. But for my defense I won't have much time to sleep for the next year to come.
How am I dong here? Well... okay. I love my family and I've missed them so, I love being here again, but since my little brother is back in the dorm and my older brother will soon go back to his town for uni, I'll be here alone with the Mom only (see how I left out the Dad? He's currently seldom to be found at home because of his new 'babies', read: a couple of newly bought planes by an airline company), so going back to the point, it is a little bit lonely, but I won't take things for granted, for the next years to come I will live with another five girls, which means, lack of privacy at best and no privacy at all at worst. So I appreciate any peace I have now.
Then, about seeing my friends here... I guess studying abroad and making new friends, and also almost have no chance at all to meet the girls here, made me realize how I actually miss having them as my close friends, I'm talking about my junior high besties (you know who you are) and also my high school friends (you also know who you are). You guys have been walking along side me through my journey of being the person I am now, no longer freshly graduated from high school (if one might say), and I'm grateful that I have you guys for who will I go to if I visit Indonesia again? I'm aware that I sounded a little bit cheesy right now but then again, I'm a drama queen at heart so... you understand me.
And I'm gonna miss you girls until the next time we meet.
Finally about Indonesia, not much has changed to this 'beloved' country. I found my self still at the same position I was before, I still hate this country. Remember how the lines between hating and loving something is blurry at best ? I hate this country. And I am so glad that I made the right decision to study abroad. Actually I loathe thee guts of the governments, I very much dislike politics and the slickness of the people here, and how pathetic they could be. They just don't change, with their feudal brain and corrupted heart, well actually I doubted that they have any brain and hearts at all. You know they might even be just the vessels of the people above, the puppeteers, or the conspirators, or anything. Okay talking about those theories in this light post hiatus post is not good at all, and I'm aware that I should stop, so there. I stop.
Okay then, I guess I will have to go now and I might write something substantial later, so see you then!
I'll go back to my break, or hibernation, or anything.
bye
Friday 18 July 2014
Decisions and Dreams
hello internet!
and a welcome for the freshly graduated seniors out there, this is the year full of decisions, and all are yours (except you with a little bit annoying parent in the background) to make.
i know the feeling, of deciding what should I study, where should I go, and what to accept. tho the latter does not happen in my case.
recently I got some questions from my juniors about which to take, or where should they go, and all the norms about university.
for me last year, I didn't make much decisions, mostly because I only want two things, either go to the best uni in my country or abroad. That's the only decision I had to make. and since the best uni is so hard to apply and no kidding I'm not that brilliant, so I applied there without expecting anything. to tell you the truth, in the end being accepted there would be a nightmare for me. Finally here I am five-thousands miles away from my birthland, and happy.
Enough with my story, I'm here to help you guys to decide things. Whether it's about what do you want to study, where do you want to study, or which university to accept (just for you brainiacs).
First thing to do in making decision is, look inside yourself. Of course I don't mean literally, just look inside your mind, your heart. then, ask this question: WHAT DO I WANT? WHAT DOES MY SELF TELL ME? WHAT IS MY PASSION?
Yes there is this thing called "you can't always get what you wanted" but it does NOT mean that you should not pursue what you wanted. Instead, while pursuing what you wanted you may get what you need. Taking the safe route also is not an answer, I mean, what? you take the safest way now and be spoiled for the next four years and the real world later will eat you alive or dead.
Anyway, my point is, choose what you want most. Most of the people I know REGRET their choice of major, or where they are studying, in the end, they will take another exams, change their major, move to another uni... They don't feel happy by what they chose last year. No offense my friends, but do you want that? a regret? Yes you can still take another exam, IF you are luck enough to be accepted, but if you aren't? All that you do are for YOUR OWN happiness. So, choose what you really want, study what you loves, do what you are passionate about, the rest will come later.
Second, don't twist your undergarments because of another people opinion.
Sometimes you do need other people to keep your feet a little bit on the ground. Listen to their opinion, or maybe just talking to them will make you realize what you actually want. It might also give you some image on how people looks at you. But that doesn't mean that you have to do what other people tell you. WHOEVER they are, remember this: they don't have the reins on you, YOU live your own life. Whether they are parents, annoying family members, your teachers, or your friends... listen but decide which to accept and which to let out from the other ear.
Third, deal with the annoying parents.
The parents who wants their child to live THEIR dreams are (no offense) pathetic. EVERYONE has their OWN dreams. If you didn't get to live on your dreams, are you going to let your child do the same? You (parents everywhere) know exactly how that feels not to choose to be what you want, so don't make your child live with the same mistakes.
Know this, my young friends, your annoying pushy parents behind you are regretting what they didn't choose in their life, and now they are pushing all their dreams to you as if you are their barbie doll. Talk to them, tell them what you really want, and make them realize what is YOUR dream, and what is THEIRS. But if your parents are one of those creepy stoneheaded people, just pray, and do what you want beside what they want you to. KEEP YOUR SELF HAPPY.
Fourth, for those religious friends, pray, in my religion we pray istikharah. Asking the God to help with making decision. It helps, if you are stuck with undecided things, sometimes all you need are praying. In the end God will give you some lights on which road to take, which option to take.
Finally, make that decision.
If you have decided, then live it. Live your dreams, live your life. But remember, keep your heads on your shoulder. In every roads there WILL always be some stones, some nasty thorns, some rains, even thunders, but there will be lights, a good view from time to time, good musics to entertain you, and always there will be a hand to hold, whoever they are.
Also, a friend once told me this: the beauty is on the journey itself, not just the destination.
Don't give up on your dreams. It might take a year, five, or six, or even ten... but believe that you will have it. And you will.
Well then my friends, congratulations and welcome to the new beginning, welcome to the real world of undecided things. And in your life, YOU are the one to decide.
Bye.
and a welcome for the freshly graduated seniors out there, this is the year full of decisions, and all are yours (except you with a little bit annoying parent in the background) to make.
i know the feeling, of deciding what should I study, where should I go, and what to accept. tho the latter does not happen in my case.
recently I got some questions from my juniors about which to take, or where should they go, and all the norms about university.
for me last year, I didn't make much decisions, mostly because I only want two things, either go to the best uni in my country or abroad. That's the only decision I had to make. and since the best uni is so hard to apply and no kidding I'm not that brilliant, so I applied there without expecting anything. to tell you the truth, in the end being accepted there would be a nightmare for me. Finally here I am five-thousands miles away from my birthland, and happy.
Enough with my story, I'm here to help you guys to decide things. Whether it's about what do you want to study, where do you want to study, or which university to accept (just for you brainiacs).
First thing to do in making decision is, look inside yourself. Of course I don't mean literally, just look inside your mind, your heart. then, ask this question: WHAT DO I WANT? WHAT DOES MY SELF TELL ME? WHAT IS MY PASSION?
Yes there is this thing called "you can't always get what you wanted" but it does NOT mean that you should not pursue what you wanted. Instead, while pursuing what you wanted you may get what you need. Taking the safe route also is not an answer, I mean, what? you take the safest way now and be spoiled for the next four years and the real world later will eat you alive or dead.
Anyway, my point is, choose what you want most. Most of the people I know REGRET their choice of major, or where they are studying, in the end, they will take another exams, change their major, move to another uni... They don't feel happy by what they chose last year. No offense my friends, but do you want that? a regret? Yes you can still take another exam, IF you are luck enough to be accepted, but if you aren't? All that you do are for YOUR OWN happiness. So, choose what you really want, study what you loves, do what you are passionate about, the rest will come later.
Second, don't twist your undergarments because of another people opinion.
Sometimes you do need other people to keep your feet a little bit on the ground. Listen to their opinion, or maybe just talking to them will make you realize what you actually want. It might also give you some image on how people looks at you. But that doesn't mean that you have to do what other people tell you. WHOEVER they are, remember this: they don't have the reins on you, YOU live your own life. Whether they are parents, annoying family members, your teachers, or your friends... listen but decide which to accept and which to let out from the other ear.
Third, deal with the annoying parents.
The parents who wants their child to live THEIR dreams are (no offense) pathetic. EVERYONE has their OWN dreams. If you didn't get to live on your dreams, are you going to let your child do the same? You (parents everywhere) know exactly how that feels not to choose to be what you want, so don't make your child live with the same mistakes.
Know this, my young friends, your annoying pushy parents behind you are regretting what they didn't choose in their life, and now they are pushing all their dreams to you as if you are their barbie doll. Talk to them, tell them what you really want, and make them realize what is YOUR dream, and what is THEIRS. But if your parents are one of those creepy stoneheaded people, just pray, and do what you want beside what they want you to. KEEP YOUR SELF HAPPY.
Fourth, for those religious friends, pray, in my religion we pray istikharah. Asking the God to help with making decision. It helps, if you are stuck with undecided things, sometimes all you need are praying. In the end God will give you some lights on which road to take, which option to take.
Finally, make that decision.
If you have decided, then live it. Live your dreams, live your life. But remember, keep your heads on your shoulder. In every roads there WILL always be some stones, some nasty thorns, some rains, even thunders, but there will be lights, a good view from time to time, good musics to entertain you, and always there will be a hand to hold, whoever they are.
Also, a friend once told me this: the beauty is on the journey itself, not just the destination.
Don't give up on your dreams. It might take a year, five, or six, or even ten... but believe that you will have it. And you will.
Well then my friends, congratulations and welcome to the new beginning, welcome to the real world of undecided things. And in your life, YOU are the one to decide.
Bye.
Tuesday 15 July 2014
My playlist here and there
Hello internet!
I have so many unfinished drafts these days, meaning: another long time until I come up with any idea at all.
but this time I'm going to try to write a little bit, this is a lighter topic because let's just say it plain and simple, the world do need more lightness.
Anyhow, this is about the songs I love, or more like the kind of bands I'm listening into.
I admit my taste of music is most of the times different than what people in my immediate circle has, so I actually have no one to share, hence me writing here.
My first and foremost, band that introduced me to the music world, although I'm not a musician myself *I can't play a note to save my self* I need music in my life, just to you know, fill the occasional emptiness...
so the band, Paramore! I have been a fan for more than 6 years now... starting form somewhere in 2008 when I listened to their song Emergency in the radio.
(Yeah, I did listened to the radio, when people still listened to altern and rock and quality ballads. not some electro thingy with autotuned voice... I admit they're still some talented people who made songs like that, but let's say I prefer the classic music instrument than some computer made songs.)
Paramore had been a constant backsound in my life. with their deep meaningful songs and Hayley's perfect voice, especially after the self-titled album was out, exactly the year I graduated from highschool. What's more suitable for a girl who just graduated and stepping her first step into the real world than some songs that tells her everyone feels the same? Take Grow Up for example, and Anklebiters, and all the interludes: Moving On, Holiday, I'm Not Angry Anymore, all reflected the story of someone who just stepped into the real world, tasting what does it feels like to finally live alone, the freedom, the hardship, the hurt, the happiness...
So basically, I love Paramore, and their songs will always be the soundtrack of my journey to find who I really am.
Next I have some random bands like Taking Back Sunday, Death Cab For Cutie, and Snow Patrol. I'm not saying that they are random or what, it's random because they all sounds so different but they hold the same place in my life.
While Paramore helps me in my growing up journey as some sort of constant reminder that I'm not alone, band like TBS, and some more random rock bands reflects my emo side. Surprise surprise I do have some emo side, their older songs are a reminder of the recent (I'm still 18 anyway) teenage years. And I want to keep a good memory of that times by listening to TBS songs...
And whenever I need a cosy moments, when some beautiful sexy voices (corny I know) playing in the background, I'll tune up Snow Patrol, and occasional Spill Canvas, and mybe The Script. Admit it, their songs will soothe you, and make your mellow heart more mellow. Okay, ignore me.
They have some really good songs and add to the sexy vocalists, your bad mood will probably be forgotten, at least that's what I do.
At last, whenever I feel poetic, and a little bit more mellow than I normally feel, and whenever I want to listen to songs with some heavy lyrics, DCFC is very good for this. Their songs, while the musics are light at times, the lyrics are so deep so beautiful they make me cry, even after a few times listening. Take What Sarah Said for example, it talked about love, that when you love someone you are bound to watch him die, not just that obviously, but you just really have to listen to them yourself.
Well, that's a little bit peek to my playlist and my fave bands... if you have some recommendations for me, or if you (whoever you are) have the same taste as me, we can be best buddies ;)
bye!
I have so many unfinished drafts these days, meaning: another long time until I come up with any idea at all.
but this time I'm going to try to write a little bit, this is a lighter topic because let's just say it plain and simple, the world do need more lightness.
Anyhow, this is about the songs I love, or more like the kind of bands I'm listening into.
I admit my taste of music is most of the times different than what people in my immediate circle has, so I actually have no one to share, hence me writing here.
My first and foremost, band that introduced me to the music world, although I'm not a musician myself *I can't play a note to save my self* I need music in my life, just to you know, fill the occasional emptiness...
so the band, Paramore! I have been a fan for more than 6 years now... starting form somewhere in 2008 when I listened to their song Emergency in the radio.
(Yeah, I did listened to the radio, when people still listened to altern and rock and quality ballads. not some electro thingy with autotuned voice... I admit they're still some talented people who made songs like that, but let's say I prefer the classic music instrument than some computer made songs.)
Paramore had been a constant backsound in my life. with their deep meaningful songs and Hayley's perfect voice, especially after the self-titled album was out, exactly the year I graduated from highschool. What's more suitable for a girl who just graduated and stepping her first step into the real world than some songs that tells her everyone feels the same? Take Grow Up for example, and Anklebiters, and all the interludes: Moving On, Holiday, I'm Not Angry Anymore, all reflected the story of someone who just stepped into the real world, tasting what does it feels like to finally live alone, the freedom, the hardship, the hurt, the happiness...
So basically, I love Paramore, and their songs will always be the soundtrack of my journey to find who I really am.
Next I have some random bands like Taking Back Sunday, Death Cab For Cutie, and Snow Patrol. I'm not saying that they are random or what, it's random because they all sounds so different but they hold the same place in my life.
While Paramore helps me in my growing up journey as some sort of constant reminder that I'm not alone, band like TBS, and some more random rock bands reflects my emo side. Surprise surprise I do have some emo side, their older songs are a reminder of the recent (I'm still 18 anyway) teenage years. And I want to keep a good memory of that times by listening to TBS songs...
And whenever I need a cosy moments, when some beautiful sexy voices (corny I know) playing in the background, I'll tune up Snow Patrol, and occasional Spill Canvas, and mybe The Script. Admit it, their songs will soothe you, and make your mellow heart more mellow. Okay, ignore me.
They have some really good songs and add to the sexy vocalists, your bad mood will probably be forgotten, at least that's what I do.
At last, whenever I feel poetic, and a little bit more mellow than I normally feel, and whenever I want to listen to songs with some heavy lyrics, DCFC is very good for this. Their songs, while the musics are light at times, the lyrics are so deep so beautiful they make me cry, even after a few times listening. Take What Sarah Said for example, it talked about love, that when you love someone you are bound to watch him die, not just that obviously, but you just really have to listen to them yourself.
Well, that's a little bit peek to my playlist and my fave bands... if you have some recommendations for me, or if you (whoever you are) have the same taste as me, we can be best buddies ;)
bye!
Friday 11 July 2014
Babbles about Indonesia
Hello internet!
since I'm still wired, I might as well write more, and a tad bit more of this writing thing.
I did told you about the current condition of my country, right? *it's Indonesia if you don't know, heck yeah you are in 2014 ask google!*
Okay so... we're in the middle of an election now, a presidential election. and as important as that sounds... I don't give a sweat about that! *ha ironic qil*
sigh, sigh again, and SIGH AGAIN. because talking about indonesia needs a TONS of sigh. well yeah we can move past that and see the superficial happy place with tropical beaches and sunny shiny sun, and lovely humid air (let's just pretend global warming doesn't change anything about that)...
but that's superficial. a big red flag sign.
Let's just start this over... I read in a novel once (The Heist by someone I forgot the name) that Indonesia is the perfect place for scoundrels to hide, first of all, nobody knows about it, second, the corrupt government. again CORRUPT GOVERNMENT.
*I need to take a breather at this point*
it ashamed me, that one of the most noticeable from the country was the corrupt government. goes without saying "Hey I'm from Indonesia , and it's a public secret that we have a corrupt government"
damnit. *again pardon my profanity*
and then this election came. actually it's my first time to vote! I was finally 17 (last year) and I have the right to vote! I know it's an honor to be able to vote. thousands of women and some people in the old days used to be let out of the vote, but not in my country. they were decent enough to let everyone vote when they reach 17.
past that... I was not thrilled, at all.
I already had a bad feeling about this election since the *still* current president was sort of trying to subtly let the country fall into a ruin. since he was not eligible for another round and his party was sort of... scandalized *surprise surprise* I guessed he was trying to at least let the people see the actual jerk he was. yeah, sorry not sorry.
this election, was the dirtiest so far I have ever seen in my 18 years of life.
there were only 2 pairs of candidates, and none of them was promising, so we used the method of seeing the bigger picture beyond the pairs and eliminate which one was better. I daresay, I was proud of my decision. *but let's not get ahead of ourselves*
the first pair was decent, but the most important thing was the party following behind them wasn't that particular jerks party, people might say I'm too young and a bit dogmatic considering by my bringing up. but no no I don't accept that.
that party, people, was the most disgusting and simply idiotic party in Indonesia. I'm not gonna tell you which party was that, but if you are smart you'll find out.
I mean, using blatant lies and turning around the words of people, and simply making the life of innocent unassuming people worse by brainwashing their opinion? ew.
talk about collecting the bully of your school into a one big party, complete with their goons.
GROSS RIGHT? I KNOW.
anyway...
so the second pair was that party's candidate. and suffice to say I just looked past their names and just ignore them. intelligent people with decent conscience will KNOW. sorry I wasn't mean to be condescending... but who was I kidding, even an 18 y.o silly girl realized and saw behind their lies, which was maddeningly lot by the way.
my actual point was to point out some stupid things happening there,
like the black campaigning thing. I mean I give you an ovation, people, that you guys are so GENIUS, you are some story tellers, lie spinners, and amazing graphic designers.
how in the whole world did you guys come up with those ideas? it was beyond me.
simply stunning. and DISGUSTING.
why didn't you use your talent for a GREATER GOOD?
GOD HEAVENS ABOVE.
*okay, take a breath qil.*
if you see those article, internet, you will know why I'm talking like this. the silver lining was, you finally know that indonesia actually have some decent geniuses who were idiots at the same time, amazing, right? and then you will also finally know who's intelligent and who wasn't. sorry if you are offended. they said they value honesty, and I'm *out of character* following them.
post-election. now I thought the quick counts will result in something... better, I guess.
but NO
god.
even the quick count was stupid.
they're different in every media that you. don't. even. know. which one's right and which one's wrong.
I'm still secretly hoping for a tie, you know, to BURN THE STOVE.
okay. don't burn indonesia just yet, I'm planning on taking my family to live abroad, so please...
this take me to another point, the highlight is... living abroad is so NICE. yes the election is happening here, but it doesn't affect us directly.
and not-related but I'm glad the ambassador will change this year, I sort of loose faith in her. and the whole effing government. EVERYWHERE.
well,
that's good enough for today.
don't twist your anything in a bunch because of me, and sorry if you feel offended.
since I'm still wired, I might as well write more, and a tad bit more of this writing thing.
I did told you about the current condition of my country, right? *it's Indonesia if you don't know, heck yeah you are in 2014 ask google!*
Okay so... we're in the middle of an election now, a presidential election. and as important as that sounds... I don't give a sweat about that! *ha ironic qil*
sigh, sigh again, and SIGH AGAIN. because talking about indonesia needs a TONS of sigh. well yeah we can move past that and see the superficial happy place with tropical beaches and sunny shiny sun, and lovely humid air (let's just pretend global warming doesn't change anything about that)...
but that's superficial. a big red flag sign.
Let's just start this over... I read in a novel once (The Heist by someone I forgot the name) that Indonesia is the perfect place for scoundrels to hide, first of all, nobody knows about it, second, the corrupt government. again CORRUPT GOVERNMENT.
*I need to take a breather at this point*
it ashamed me, that one of the most noticeable from the country was the corrupt government. goes without saying "Hey I'm from Indonesia , and it's a public secret that we have a corrupt government"
damnit. *again pardon my profanity*
and then this election came. actually it's my first time to vote! I was finally 17 (last year) and I have the right to vote! I know it's an honor to be able to vote. thousands of women and some people in the old days used to be let out of the vote, but not in my country. they were decent enough to let everyone vote when they reach 17.
past that... I was not thrilled, at all.
I already had a bad feeling about this election since the *still* current president was sort of trying to subtly let the country fall into a ruin. since he was not eligible for another round and his party was sort of... scandalized *surprise surprise* I guessed he was trying to at least let the people see the actual jerk he was. yeah, sorry not sorry.
this election, was the dirtiest so far I have ever seen in my 18 years of life.
there were only 2 pairs of candidates, and none of them was promising, so we used the method of seeing the bigger picture beyond the pairs and eliminate which one was better. I daresay, I was proud of my decision. *but let's not get ahead of ourselves*
the first pair was decent, but the most important thing was the party following behind them wasn't that particular jerks party, people might say I'm too young and a bit dogmatic considering by my bringing up. but no no I don't accept that.
that party, people, was the most disgusting and simply idiotic party in Indonesia. I'm not gonna tell you which party was that, but if you are smart you'll find out.
I mean, using blatant lies and turning around the words of people, and simply making the life of innocent unassuming people worse by brainwashing their opinion? ew.
talk about collecting the bully of your school into a one big party, complete with their goons.
GROSS RIGHT? I KNOW.
anyway...
so the second pair was that party's candidate. and suffice to say I just looked past their names and just ignore them. intelligent people with decent conscience will KNOW. sorry I wasn't mean to be condescending... but who was I kidding, even an 18 y.o silly girl realized and saw behind their lies, which was maddeningly lot by the way.
my actual point was to point out some stupid things happening there,
like the black campaigning thing. I mean I give you an ovation, people, that you guys are so GENIUS, you are some story tellers, lie spinners, and amazing graphic designers.
how in the whole world did you guys come up with those ideas? it was beyond me.
simply stunning. and DISGUSTING.
why didn't you use your talent for a GREATER GOOD?
GOD HEAVENS ABOVE.
*okay, take a breath qil.*
if you see those article, internet, you will know why I'm talking like this. the silver lining was, you finally know that indonesia actually have some decent geniuses who were idiots at the same time, amazing, right? and then you will also finally know who's intelligent and who wasn't. sorry if you are offended. they said they value honesty, and I'm *out of character* following them.
post-election. now I thought the quick counts will result in something... better, I guess.
but NO
god.
even the quick count was stupid.
they're different in every media that you. don't. even. know. which one's right and which one's wrong.
I'm still secretly hoping for a tie, you know, to BURN THE STOVE.
okay. don't burn indonesia just yet, I'm planning on taking my family to live abroad, so please...
this take me to another point, the highlight is... living abroad is so NICE. yes the election is happening here, but it doesn't affect us directly.
and not-related but I'm glad the ambassador will change this year, I sort of loose faith in her. and the whole effing government. EVERYWHERE.
well,
that's good enough for today.
don't twist your anything in a bunch because of me, and sorry if you feel offended.
The Comeback (or not)
Hello internet!
I know, I know that I haven't write on this media for a very long time, but that doesn't mean i have forgotten about you, well I guess in some way I did, but just to remind you again that I'm the *technically* busy med student, so yeah, I'm busy. I guess.
anyway, what I'm trying to write here is a little bit about my present condition, the med student in waiting, okay waiting for a new semester to start! was that amazing or amazing? anyway, it was amazing that I'm passing the first year, yes, yes did I tell you that already? I am passing the first year! heck yes. I mean thank God. actually I barely passed, I got a DC (which of course means a big red fail sign hovering above) but then by some strings of miracle, I got a marvelous BB in the final. suffice to say, it was the outstanding for my standard, I mean I barely managed a CC for the whole year.
so, this year, now I am proudly saying I can see a little bit here and there signs of why I was failing. Most of the times were... because I was cursing my life, by my self! I was always regretting the fact that I'm a medstudent, that I'm wasting my family's money... but then I realized... the 'rentals thought that I wanted this, and i guess in some point of my life I did wanted this... so I tried to remind my self of the whys. It wasn't easy and temptation to quit was there in every step of the way. but heck yeah there will always be a temptation along the way. take it as a spice in your soup, you don't want to eat plain cucumber or spinach yogurt soup right? (it was a real soup, mind you)
and then beside that... I guess I was still finding my strategies... did I told you how was my exam system? I'll tell you now, it was messed of to a whole new level. we have an exam in every 1.5 months, with 100 Qs, and from all subjects we studied for that 1.5 months, and it might have been okay if we have some syllabus of some sort but we did NOT, only some angelic lecturers would do that, and some j*rks lecturer will make your life harder to the level of you just want to die and skip those qs *okay I did exaggerated a bit* anyway, beside those messed upness, the scoring system was a b*tch. if in a subject (ex. biochem) there's 16 qs and you got more than half wrong answers, that means your score in that subject will be minus. heck yeah.
so, no random patterning the paper, no it's a no go. i probably got all those Ds from that kind of mistakes.
and yeah, after a very extensively long year *another exaggeration mind you* I finally learned my strategies, which led me to that pretty BB, beautiful baby *corny i know*
so yeah, that's about school...
what about life?
heck, love life?
nope sorry to disappoint, still not going to tie any informal nor formal relationship any soon.
I love my life now *surprise surprise*, I love seeing my peers do stupid inconsequential things that young people *in* love do, and laugh behind their back *okay not really, I swear it was a joke*
talking about this led me to a certain condition, did I tell you about that winter crush? heck yeah, summer crush or fling was a tad bit too mainstream for my liking.
okay okay, I tell you, this crush was... nice to have while it lasted. he was cute, seemingly smart, and most importantly he effing READS. how many cute nice decent guys you know who loves to read? yeah, not lot.
guaranteed, it was a crush, a really nice heart warming cute crush, and most importantly, fun while it lasted.
people, I know any next step will not be happening, especially since he was in a different department, and he never asked my number, or seemingly having intention to, and I'm visiting my the familia this year *tell you details later* so... summer break, no class, no Gaziantep, no signs of his presence... I let it go *cue for Let It Go*
I'll tell you again, I'm still in my principals of ten year (and more) planning, which does not include any relationship, ergo, crush is all there is.
let's move to the next thing then...
I'm visiting Indonesia, yes, heck yeah!
I wasn't planning to go this year, nu uh, but then God gave me this very lovely and amazing present, a friend of mine. she was looking for someone who *her words verbatim* goes home by plane and wants to go home this year.
I mean, home, familia, for free? who can resist it? then... after a little bit of complication in the heart *of the 'rentals* and a tad bit male ego here and there *the Dad's* I received the free tickets to and fro. FREE. TO. AND. FRO.
not gonna tell you how much the tickets worth, which in my mid class life opinion was LOT.
but anyway, I cannot thank you enough for that particular friend. I hope God bless you and your family.
so there's that, I passed the first year *barely*, I'm still happily single and having not intention for anything else *really? way corny qil!*, and I'm visiting my familia this year *cue to the drums*, though due to the current state of indonesia *heck what did I said? current?* I'm really... not in the mood to see the country, not now not ever *I may or may not will tell you more about that later*... sorry guys.
thank you for reading this uninformative, boring, and random post people!
bye!
Aqila
I know, I know that I haven't write on this media for a very long time, but that doesn't mean i have forgotten about you, well I guess in some way I did, but just to remind you again that I'm the *technically* busy med student, so yeah, I'm busy. I guess.
anyway, what I'm trying to write here is a little bit about my present condition, the med student in waiting, okay waiting for a new semester to start! was that amazing or amazing? anyway, it was amazing that I'm passing the first year, yes, yes did I tell you that already? I am passing the first year! heck yes. I mean thank God. actually I barely passed, I got a DC (which of course means a big red fail sign hovering above) but then by some strings of miracle, I got a marvelous BB in the final. suffice to say, it was the outstanding for my standard, I mean I barely managed a CC for the whole year.
so, this year, now I am proudly saying I can see a little bit here and there signs of why I was failing. Most of the times were... because I was cursing my life, by my self! I was always regretting the fact that I'm a medstudent, that I'm wasting my family's money... but then I realized... the 'rentals thought that I wanted this, and i guess in some point of my life I did wanted this... so I tried to remind my self of the whys. It wasn't easy and temptation to quit was there in every step of the way. but heck yeah there will always be a temptation along the way. take it as a spice in your soup, you don't want to eat plain cucumber or spinach yogurt soup right? (it was a real soup, mind you)
and then beside that... I guess I was still finding my strategies... did I told you how was my exam system? I'll tell you now, it was messed of to a whole new level. we have an exam in every 1.5 months, with 100 Qs, and from all subjects we studied for that 1.5 months, and it might have been okay if we have some syllabus of some sort but we did NOT, only some angelic lecturers would do that, and some j*rks lecturer will make your life harder to the level of you just want to die and skip those qs *okay I did exaggerated a bit* anyway, beside those messed upness, the scoring system was a b*tch. if in a subject (ex. biochem) there's 16 qs and you got more than half wrong answers, that means your score in that subject will be minus. heck yeah.
so, no random patterning the paper, no it's a no go. i probably got all those Ds from that kind of mistakes.
and yeah, after a very extensively long year *another exaggeration mind you* I finally learned my strategies, which led me to that pretty BB, beautiful baby *corny i know*
so yeah, that's about school...
what about life?
heck, love life?
nope sorry to disappoint, still not going to tie any informal nor formal relationship any soon.
I love my life now *surprise surprise*, I love seeing my peers do stupid inconsequential things that young people *in* love do, and laugh behind their back *okay not really, I swear it was a joke*
talking about this led me to a certain condition, did I tell you about that winter crush? heck yeah, summer crush or fling was a tad bit too mainstream for my liking.
okay okay, I tell you, this crush was... nice to have while it lasted. he was cute, seemingly smart, and most importantly he effing READS. how many cute nice decent guys you know who loves to read? yeah, not lot.
guaranteed, it was a crush, a really nice heart warming cute crush, and most importantly, fun while it lasted.
people, I know any next step will not be happening, especially since he was in a different department, and he never asked my number, or seemingly having intention to, and I'm visiting my the familia this year *tell you details later* so... summer break, no class, no Gaziantep, no signs of his presence... I let it go *cue for Let It Go*
I'll tell you again, I'm still in my principals of ten year (and more) planning, which does not include any relationship, ergo, crush is all there is.
let's move to the next thing then...
I'm visiting Indonesia, yes, heck yeah!
I wasn't planning to go this year, nu uh, but then God gave me this very lovely and amazing present, a friend of mine. she was looking for someone who *her words verbatim* goes home by plane and wants to go home this year.
I mean, home, familia, for free? who can resist it? then... after a little bit of complication in the heart *of the 'rentals* and a tad bit male ego here and there *the Dad's* I received the free tickets to and fro. FREE. TO. AND. FRO.
not gonna tell you how much the tickets worth, which in my mid class life opinion was LOT.
but anyway, I cannot thank you enough for that particular friend. I hope God bless you and your family.
so there's that, I passed the first year *barely*, I'm still happily single and having not intention for anything else *really? way corny qil!*, and I'm visiting my familia this year *cue to the drums*, though due to the current state of indonesia *heck what did I said? current?* I'm really... not in the mood to see the country, not now not ever *I may or may not will tell you more about that later*... sorry guys.
thank you for reading this uninformative, boring, and random post people!
bye!
Aqila
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)