Eighteen

Can you believe it that this girl finally turns eighteen? I mean, eight-freaking-teen. God, how fast time flies... okay that was a bit of an exaggeration, I mean yeah well I have to turn eighteen at some point. But why now? Because it's January *freaking* Fifth! (okay tell me if I should stop with the freaking, because I AM freaking out right now)
As ages come and go, 17 is probably the longest one until now, or at least so long I've been living...
Seventeen has given me lots, like LOTS of things. Probably the most character changing age ever. Not that I have found out who I am, and what I'm doing in this earth, I just feel more settled. Probably because of the fact that I'm no longer an "innocent" *blech* highschool student, but actually a cool *blech* med-school student. And now I'm living like 5.369 miles (8640 km) away from the place where I grew up, which probably can change someone a lot more. The seventeen year old me had realised that life is not just about studying abroad and achieving the dreams, it's also about meeting new people, having new family, understanding the differences, assimilation, acceptance, and the fall down of one's common sense.
Life was a real roller coaster last year, I mean, this girl had big tests to take, several anxieties to surpass, and several problems to tackle, all *mostly* by herself. Really, don't say that "i wasn't alone and blah blah blah..." I was alone, who can help me surpass the anxiety of the university acceptance? of the staying abroad? of starting a new life? of being a sunny shiny person that everyone loves?? *okay the latter was completely out of topic* the point is, I was alone, and I SURVIVE, I LIVE, I'M AWESOME!
So... seventeen was also the last birthday I got to celebrate in the dormitory.. which was bittersweet... I got like another eggs on my head, flour everywhere... and a freaking PARAMORE'S PARAMORE album :")
thank you so much for the lovelies who bought me that, I mean they're waiting for April in order to be able to give me the present... sweet :*
Seventeen also the age when I get to know what a winter feels like, and how beautiful a cold world can be. Which is probably unforgettable... (But I'm still mad at you Jack Frost! Why you only gave us a week of snow? I believe in you you knooooow)

Anyway, now I'm no longer seventeen. Sad? Not really. Truth be told, I don't feel much of any different... though somethings are definitely new.
I've got these revelations...
 For starters, now I believe in sweet things. I mean, no one has ever done something so sweet like making a surprise for my birthday, I mean, admit it when your birthday is always in the breaks what can you do except holed up at home? Yeah, so this year, my new family-- a.k.a the Antepia girls-- had successfully made a sweet surprise for me. Something that is definitely has never been happened to me.
They came to my apartment complete with the cake! I mean, I knew people were busy with their exams, so what would I expect? No, it really wasn't what I expected... they even waited for long in front of the apartment's gate in the cold weather. What should I say? I have never loved some girl friends sisters so much... *I don't even have a real sister by the way* anyway they are soooo sweet. :") and I now believe that sweet things may happen to me.
Second, now I believe that there are some people in the world that you are destined to meet and know and just clicked. I mean, how do you explain the feeling of comfort when you are talking to someone whom you have just met 4 months ago? I'm not that open to random people, but when I feel like someone is worth talking to, then I will talk to him/her. And so far in my life, I have only known like 6 people that I could completely be open to This is my eighteen years old revelation.
Third, some classmates are just want to see me burn the world, it is true that my classmates are probably will be the same for the following 6 years, but, I just do not trust some them. There are some evil people who are simply evil. I mean, we are in the same group, but they are strictly sort of like ignoring me as if I am a shadow. Seriously, b*tches just because I cannot speak your language well doesn't mean that you are allowed to ignore me. You may as well go to Tartarus for all I care. I dislike you and your dwarfiness so much it kills my keyboard. I want to strangle you and throw you through our professor window.
Okay this post is getting trashy, I apologise deeply. My point is eighteen makes me totally completely realise that college is, waaaay harsher than Highschool. Yeah, that's sort of like sad for a new age revelation, but this is world, sadness is completely understandable and expected even.
Fourth, that I'm still alive and well, and just more grateful and wiser *really?*. I've been spending more than 12 years of my life thinking of suicide, but well, here I am, still alive and well, and sunny shiny like a perfect daughter and girl I should be (sorry this post is getting cynical right now). I just realised that, I could be thinking of wanting to die, but it's was actually helping me to stay afloat in this life ocean. One can be broken, messed up and mental but one can survive, you have to believe in that.

Weeeell, this post is getting weirder. I was actually trying to write about my birthday thingy, but I got carried away... so, my first birthday in Turkey was... nice. I got an instant make over, a cute blanket, an small meaningful gift, and a Dan Brown's book. I think everything is awfully awesome :D
And of course, some of those revelations...

In the end, thank you for putting up with me and my various blogs and social medias, and my constant babbling. and Happy *creepy lated*  Eighteen for me!

Stay Awesome