Sickdays

It's unusual for me to post more than one a day, but I really need to let this out. I'm sick, I haven't been feeling well since last week.
I know it's not anyone's business but.. There's no harm in telling this.
Anyhow, it was actually my fault that I'm ill right now. I haven't been eating regularly since I came to this town. Not because I'm not hungry though, just because som reasons.. And now I feel completely stupid.
I have gastritic which I actually been having since ages ago. But it gets worse right now.. And I'm trying to control it so it won't get worse.
And... I think.. That gastritic led to headache. Now I'm also having an annoying headache and dizziness. For this I know nothing of what causing it.. I haven't been having this kind of headache again until now.
Problem is... I don't want to go to the doctor. Ironic isn't it? I'm a med student but I don't even want to go see he doctor. Not because I'm scared or what.. It's just everything more likely become complicated by seeing a doctor. And of course I don't have the budget... Though the rentals will obviously be backing everything.. I still feel like a burden and a brat...
It was my fault that I get sick and making everything hard for them...
So now I tried to lay and sleep for a sufficient time. Eat healthy food. And... Telling my self that I'm healthy. *placebo effect*
I really want to go somewhere in this break. But I'm afraid if I go too far I'll get sicker and ruin this year. *please god no*
Then... Thanks for people who cares about my well being.. And who still checks on me..

Love

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